tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51991492024-02-28T17:34:03.055+00:00Guy's super-duper weblogGuy's (and friends') utterly relevant and correct worldview, in digital formGuyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.comBlogger173125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1153413420088350512006-07-20T17:09:00.000+01:002006-07-20T17:51:46.236+01:00Frothing madness on the ID card frothing madnessYes, it's quite possible that I am a little over-obsessed, somehow, with the ID card issue presently concerning almost no-one in the UK. But it's really serious, honest! Please read the following reasonably well-reasoned reasoned diatribe to persuade yourself of its Evilness(R), written by the Good Guys from <a href="http://www.no2id.net">no2id</a>.
<blockquote><h3>DOOMED, DUMPED, OR BUSINESS AS USUAL?</h3>
<p>You may well have seen reports suggesting that the Home Office ID programme is in trouble. A series of e-mails leaked to the Sunday Times [1] from OGC (the Office of Government Commerce, part of the Treasury) and UKIPS (the new Identity & Passport Service) revealed that senior civil servants believe the project to be yet another fiasco in the making.
<p>
Government spin has been predictable, first claiming that the ID scheme was 'under review', then "broadly on track", and now proceeding "at the same pace" [2].
<p>
So what is fact and what is fantasy?
<p>
FACT: the ID scheme that the government has been selling for the last two years or more is a lie. With no clearly-expressed goal or justification, 'feature creep' almost every time ministers opened their mouths, and a complete unwillingness to listen to real experts in the field, the Home Office has lumbered itself with something impossibly complex, horrendously expensive, and utterly unworkable.
<p>
FACT: they passed the Act anyway, spending tens of millions in the process. The biggest threat to everyone's civil liberties is leaving a law on the statute books which permits compulsory registration, lifelong surveillance and population control by ID. But we also risk seeing billions of pounds of taxpayers' money (which could be far better spent elsewhere) being thrown away in pursuit of this authoritarian delusion. Even worse, a botched attempt could expose all our most personal information - leaving some with no control over their private lives or identities for the rest of their lives.
<p>
FACT: the government will proceed regardless. This programme has been politically driven from the outset and will remain so. Blair can't afford a U-turn, and the ID programme (or more accurately, the National Identity Register) is at the heart of government strategy [3]. The bureaucrats would love for us to all be neatly numbered, so our data can be shared ever more 'efficiently' - and the suppliers still stand to make billions, whether they deliver or fail.
<p>
The danger from the ID scheme is greater than ever.
<p>
Now the government is looking at issuing cut-down 'early variant' ID cards that would 'protect' your identity with nothing more than a four-digit PIN. A gift to fraudsters. The government will still fingerprint, iris scan, background check and interrogate you for a passport - but then simply store all your data in their database. No 'benefits' or services for the public. Just all the costs, risks and intrusion.
<p>
We have to redouble our efforts. It is more important than ever that we get the message out to a public that may think 'ID cards' are off the agenda. Street stalls, leafleting - even going door-to-door. Now is the time to wake people up to the real and present danger of the ID scheme.
<p>
If you can't spare the time to get involved with a local group, or even set one up (send a mail to local.groups@no2id.net for more info) then please help support those who are fighting hard on your behalf. Join the campaign at http://www.no2id.net/getInvolved/join.php - it's just £15 per year - or send a donation.
<p>
The battle continues...
<p>
References:
<p>
[1] <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2262437_1,00.html">http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2262437_1,00.html</a>
<p>
[2] <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/uklatest/story/0,,-5954404,00.html">http://www.guardian.co.uk/uklatest/story/0,,-5954404,00.html</a>
<p>
[3] <a href="http://www.cio.gov.uk/transformational_government/strategy/">http://www.cio.gov.uk/transformational_government/strategy/</a>
</blockquote>
When it's that obvious, one has to wonder what the fuss is about.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1153328399394500982006-07-19T17:59:00.000+01:002006-07-19T17:59:59.406+01:00Some useful information for once, that isn't really that usefulSurely the prospect of listening to what our respective world leaders chat about between gravely serious and puffy declarations wrinkles your forehead with its sheer brilliance, its sheer lunacy, its sheer honesty for Damn's sake? Then a <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/17/AR2006071700402_pf.html">transcript of what Current American President the Rightly Honourable George Bush Jr. was caught fumbulating on during the recent (at the time of writing, no warranty implied) G8 summit while the microphone was left on</a> should leave you in paroxysmal delight, right? Then click on the bloody link and stop bothering me already.
The best bit follows (no objectivity implied, but I'm always right so it shouldn't concern you):
<blockquote><p><i>The camera is focused elsewhere and it is not clear whom Bush is talking to, but possibly Chinese President Hu Jintao, a guest at the summit.</i></p><p><i>Bush</i> : Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight. Go to the airport, get on the airplane and go home. How about you? Where are you going? Home?</p><p><i>Bush</i> : This is your neighborhood. It doesn't take you long to get home. How long does it take you to get home?</p><p><i>Reply is inaudible.</i></p><p><i>Bush</i> : "Eight hours? Me too. Russia's a big country and you're a big country."</p><p><i>At this point, the president seems to bring someone else into the conversation.</i></p><p><i>Bush</i> : It takes him eight hours to fly home.</p><p><i>He turns his attention to a server.</i></p><p><i>Bush</i> : No, Diet Coke, Diet Coke.</p><p><i>He turns back to whomever he was talking with.</i></p><p><i>Bush</i> : It takes him eight hours to fly home. Eight hours. Russia's big and so is China.</p></blockquote>
I'm so glad I voted for him. When can we stop kow-towing to these mere humans already, please? I'm starting to become really bored of taking them seriously. Can something be done about it within 28 days?
[Source for some postal things: The Washington Post. How appropriate.]Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1145466423114213232006-04-19T18:07:00.000+01:002006-04-19T18:07:03.166+01:00An important announcementOy! Calling all UK citizens:
RENEW YOUR PASSPORT NOW!
<a href="http://www.renewforfreedom.org/promote.html"><img border=0 width=468 height=60 src="http://www.renewforfreedom.org/fx/banner_04.png"></a>
I'm hardly a political activist, but this is so obviously and justifiably scary that I just have to do something about it, even if it's not much. According the UK Passport Authority itself, from October everyone who applies for a new passport will have to be interviewed, and it implies that biometric characteristics will also be collected. Oh, and it'll reportedly cost about £90 for the privilege, instead of the current £51 for a more convenient and less intrusive service, which is still too much.
The stupidity and pointlessness of it is the most scary part. Alas that government should be run so clumsily in what is supposed to be a most "developed" nation. Alas.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1145401066391335132006-04-18T23:57:00.000+01:002006-04-18T23:57:46.440+01:00Interesting stuff, honestWhat with all the Sino-bashing going on around the world (except, strangely, in China... maybe it's not a masochistic sort of place, on aggregate, though it has more of a claim to being machoistic, so don't confuse the two terms, kids!), with a prominent example [if only due to the power of the people involved rather than any inherent truth-value or insight, but that's the nature of the human life it seems, and you really should try to get used to it if you haven't already] being the obsession of American politicians with the dollar-yuan exchange rate, the following fact might be particular interesting, short-attention-span readers of mine. This fact is the answer to a question, so in keeping with convention and tradition, I'll write the question first. You'll find out the fact eventually.
Question: What is "(American) dollar" in Chinese?
Answer: In Chinese characters: 美元; romanized: mei yuan.
Highly interesting, right? What?! How can you disagree? Oh right, you don't know any Chinese. [If you do know enough Chinese to understand, you have no excuse, obviously]. It's interesting, I would argue, because "yuan" is the name of the Chinese currency of the moment, and "mei" means... beautiful. Isn't that sweet? So the US dollar is called the "beautiful currency", sort of. I'm sure this choice stems from a desire to suck up, but I dare not consider any further. Or maybe it's heavy irony. Hmm. Either way, interesting, as I said earlier, you skeptic.
This is all proven <a href="http://dict.cn/search/?q=%C3%C0%D4%AA">here</a> (to your low standards of proof, anyhow, which on this occasion is good enough for me).
What's "concise" in Chinese, you ask? I have no clue. In every sense of the phrase (in English). Ha.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1144454597533523602006-04-08T01:03:00.000+01:002006-04-08T01:03:17.536+01:00"Terror fear over Clash fan's song" -- excellent headline, Beeb!From <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/4879918.stm">BBC NEWS Online:</a>
<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/4879918.stm">Terror fear over Clash fan's song</a>
<blockquote>"Harraj Mann, 23, asked a taxi driver to play The Clash's London Calling through the vehicle's stereo.
But the cabbie rang police after he heard the song which includes the line: 'War is declared and battle come down'. Police said Mr Mann, from Hartlepool, was released without charge after his arrest on board a Bmi plane at Durham Tees Valley Airport."
<p>Durham Police said a security check revealed he did not pose a threat.</p><p>A spokeswoman also said that it was not just the music Mr Mann requested, but the "overall impression" he gave that aroused the taxi driver's suspicion.</p></blockquote><p></p>I must leave the country while there is still a chance. But where? People have forgotten how important liberty is, including as a creator of wealth, and they will come to regret it one day. Me? I'm getting a passport as soon as possible so I don't have to pay £90 or so for one due to all the ID card nonsense. Fair enough, it's also because my current one is about to expire, but that's not the real reason. Honest guvnor. People don't arrest me. Argh!Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1144454225245003802006-04-08T00:57:00.000+01:002006-04-08T00:57:05.303+01:00Man flogs wife's box on eBay | The RegisterHo ho ho:
<a href="http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/31/ebay_box_sale/">Man flogs wife's box on eBay | The Register</a>
Please come back soon for more intellectual titbits [unlikely to be meant literally, for the pseudo-intellectuals out there].
I agonise for weeks over important matters (or rather matters that make me feel worthy when I consider them, which is a superb definition of "important", in my humble yet utterly, infallibly correct opinion), and then post this trivial fluff-stuff. Bah.
It is funny though, you gotta admit that.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1139715597874458342006-02-12T03:39:00.000+00:002006-02-12T03:39:57.933+00:00Politicaying<span style="text-decoration: underline;">From Ha'aretz:</span>
<blockquote>"In October 2000, Israel police killed 12 Arab citizens in disturbances that erupted in the wake of Sharon?s visit to the Temple Mount. Immediately the demand arose for a commission of inquiry. The left demanded a commission, the right bridled: What for? What is there to investigate? 'The prime minister is prepared to sacrifice the police on the altar of his survival,' said MK Silvan Shalom from the Likud. 'Toadies!' shouted MK Benny Elon from the National Union at members of the government who supported the establishment of a committee in the Knesset plenum.
'You are spineless!' 'What do you want from the police?' cried MK Uzi Landau of the Likud. 'It stood in the breech to protect the rule of law.' MK Landau announced he would propose a law that would prohibit commissions of inquiry from submitting findings against individuals, but only 'recommendations for improving the system.' MK Zvi Hendel from the National Union said he was ashamed: 'Instead of giving the police a medal, the Knesset is spitting in their face.' And MK Zevulun Orlev of the National Religious Party expressed real concern about the continued functioning of the police in such conditions: 'The police are liable to feel castrated and will be afraid to grapple with manifestations of nationalist violence in the future.'
Philosophers from the right published sharp articles in the newspapers. What will <span class="t13">happen, asked one of them, if, heaven forbid, the next time riots break out the police will be afraid to use force and 12 of them get killed? What will we say then to their families? The head of Meretz at the time, Yossi Sarid, welcomed the establishment of the commission. "It is too bad the government had to be dragged into this and did not initiate and lead," he said. The Arabs welcomed it. Yossi Beilin and Matan Vilnai, who were Labor ministers at the time, warmly supported the commission of inquiry.
The point of this reminder does not need to be stated, because it is so clear and obvious. But anyway: Five years and a bit have gone by. Governments have come and gone. Ministers became Knesset members and Knesset members became ministers, but the hypocrisy and the double standards that characterize the politicians have not passed from the world with the strong wind that blew here yesterday. This week, in the Knesset plenum, the Kadima, Labor, Meretz and Arab factions voted against the establishment of a parliamentary (not even state) commission of inquiry to investigate the events at Amona. The right, headed by the Likud, voted in favor. The arguments and the justifications were absolutely identical to what was heard in the plenum in November, 2000, but the advocates and the opponents had traded roles. They had their say with the same fervor and with the same profound inner conviction that the minutes tolerate everything, and so does the microphone.</span></blockquote>The details are unimportant, the conclusion all-important: don't trust politicians (or anyone with unaccountable power over you). How long will it take before people learn that and do something about it once and for all?Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1138496235738447152006-01-29T00:57:00.000+00:002006-01-29T00:57:15.826+00:00Target : Westie Dog Rainboot - Black"Cute, waterproof, comfortable - what more could a girl want?"
<a href="http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_14/601-4320130-1196910?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000BKADIS">Target : Westie Dog Rainboot - Black</a>
A husband to help her bring up Lewey, Dewey and Bobbeta?Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1136731840496521572006-01-08T14:50:00.000+00:002006-01-08T21:28:40.283+00:00Two decent articles from the BBC - shock and horror and painWhat is going on with the BBC? They're coming out with at least two decent articles a week in the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/default.stm">Magazine section</a> of their Online News site. That's slightly more than even I manage!
Two non-recent examples [why non-recent? Why do you think? Look up the term "lackadaisical" in your nearest and cheapest medical dictionary] really impressed me, to such an extent that I couldn't even talk about them immediately after reading them, or even a week later. No matter: no time like the present. [Invocation of a popular saying, never mind how self-serving, should always be accepted with a graceful "touché".]
The first example of this duo is "<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4569086.stm">Risky Business</a>", a history of prophecies or predictions, depending on which epoch you are living in. It's written by a historian (David Cannadine), which probably explains much of why it's such an enjoyable and informative it, even if its length is disappointingly short. The piece climaxes (with good timing) by answering, or at least attempting to answer, the question "What is the point of even trying to predict the future?" The answer is very convincing:
<span style="font-size:85%;"><blockquote>This government, or any other, has to have a policy on motorways, on pensions and on global warming - all of them ultimately based on little more than educated guesses as to what might happen at some far off date when most of today's politicians will long since have vanished from the scene, and won't have to take responsibility for their decisions.</blockquote></span>Very true, sir. How do you propose we proceed then?
<span style="font-size:85%;"><blockquote>The way to answer this is to use something that's called the Turnbull Matrix, named after the civil servant who invented it, to try to establish the balance between the likelihood of something unpleasant happening, and the impact if it did. A nuclear explosion, for instance, is relatively low likelihood (we hope), but very high impact (we fear), and there are many, many other permutations.</blockquote></span>Turnbull Matrix? What the hell is that? According to this cursory description, it sounds like a basic implementation of Decision Theory, with the principle of taking actions that maximise expected utility under conditions of uncertainty. A google search, though, turns up only... seven results, the first of which is the BBC article, and the others are connected to someone called Brennan Wilcox. Very bizarre. Apart from this detail, I do recommend you read this incisive work. Have I hyped it up enough yet?
The second example of the BBC actually publishing something educational and well-written involves the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4562132.stm">first example I've ever seen of proper maths on there</a>. There's even a formula. All this just to answer the question "Do you get less wet if you run in the rain?". There's even an eminently understandable (to me, anyway) explanation of how to solve this problem systematically, by approximating in a very clear and justified way, and then, when the answer has been found from that, interpreting it in the light of the assumptions, and thus tweaking it. Brilliant. I'm going to watch out for more publications by the author, Nick Allen, who
<span style="font-size:85%;"><b><blockquote>is a Master of Science in astrophysics and a fellow of the Royal Astronomical Society. An entrepreneur and inventor, he was also co-developer of MouseCage, a disability software www.mousecage.org. Nick continues to teach physics to advanced students at Valentine's High School, Ilford. </blockquote></b> <!-- E BO --> </span> Lucky students.
Enough already.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1136423752079183222006-01-05T01:15:00.000+00:002006-01-05T01:15:52.143+00:00How to dodge stupid regulations, in one easy lessonAre you an industry man (or some other type of person), tired of having to follow rules put out by technocrats who hide behind the thinnest of claims of democratic legitimacy? Well, why not ignore them, and then adjust your actions <span style="font-style: italic;">just enough</span> to claim you're following them?... You'd be following in the footsteps of the shoulders of giants.
Case Study 1: <a href="http://media.guardian.co.uk/advertising/story/0,7492,1677275,00.html">Selling toothpaste</a>
So you're involved in the noble art of trying to get people to switch to yet another "best ever" variation of an essential lifestyle product, like toothpaste? Why not say that dentists recommend it? What do you mean, you're not allowed? Who says? Oh, the Advertising Standards Thingymajigy! <a href="http://www.asa.org.uk">Who</a>?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></b></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">From the <a href="http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/codes/tv_code/tv_codes/Section+8+-+Medicines.+Treatments.+Health+Claims.+Nutrition.htm">ASA TV Code Section 8: <span id="XHTMLPlaceholderControl1">MEDICINES, TREATMENTS, HEALTH CLAIMS
AND NUTRITION</span></a>
<b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">
</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">8.1.2 Impressions of professional advice and support<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">The following are not acceptable in advertisements for products or treatments within the remit of Section 8:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">(a) presentations of doctors, dentists, veterinary surgeons, pharmaceutical chemists, nurses, midwives etc, which give the impression of professional advice or recommendations<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">(b) statements giving the impression of professional advice or recommendation by people who are presented, whether directly or by implication, as being qualified to give such advice or recommendation</span></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">Well, their English is beautiful and mysterious, so they must be important and all-knowing. Their utmost and paramount desire is to serve the people, all the people, and nothing but the (other) people. God Bless Them All.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">But wait, what about the need to increase the profits on toothpastes this quarter? Dentist recommendations are the best, and possibly only way forward. How about...</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">Case study 1a: ...getting a dentist to recommend the general idea of the new product, cutting in a screenshot of the actual product, and then showing a happy (preferably attractive and female) citizen who claims to be using the product in the screenshot? Colgate thought of that one [give them an MBA!]:</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></p><blockquote>A Colgate Palmolive TV advert for Colgate Sensitive showed a woman talking about her sensitive teeth and explaining that her dentist had suggested she try a sensitive toothpaste. At the same time a Colgate Sensitive toothpaste tube was shown. The woman said she had switched to Colgate Sensitive.</blockquote><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">But darn it:</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></p><blockquote>The ASA judged that the advert, made by Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe/Young & Rubicam, breached the spirit of rules, even though the advert did not depict a dentist nor show a recommendation for a specific product.</blockquote><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">"Spirit of the rules"?! What's that when a lawyer's in the room? Not fair.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">But wait! (Or continue to if you didn't stop waiting). They said "<span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> advert did not yaka yada yaba". How about...</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">Case study 1b: ...getting a dentist to recommend the general idea of the new product, cutting in a screenshot of the actual product, and then showing a happy (preferably attractive and female) citizen who claims to be using the product in the screenshot? Except "then" in this case meaning "after four other commercials". GlaxoSmithKline thought of that one [two MBAs all round!]:</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></p><blockquote>The two Sensodyne advertisements were screened in a single break. The first showed a dentist who stated that sensitive teeth were common problem and that patients could treat the problem by changing their toothpaste. The advert ended with a GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare logo. Four commercials later, a second commercial appeared showing a woman talking about her sensitive teeth. The woman visited her dentist and then changed her toothpaste to Sensodyne.</blockquote><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">Were the ASA happy now? Of course not...</p><blockquote>The ASA judged that the use of a dentist to recommend generic toothpastes for sensitive teeth breached the rules preventing a dentist in an advertisement from giving professional advice and recommending a treatment. It also judged that the combined impression left by the two adverts was a further breach.</blockquote>But
<blockquote>GlaxoSmithKline argued that there was no evidence that viewers would link the messages in the two advertisements.</blockquote>No buts:
<blockquote>The ASA concluded "almost certainly" many viewers would have seen both adverts and "were likely to link the dentist's advice about sensitive toothpaste closely with the promotion of Sensodyne".</blockquote>Oh well. You almost did it. But wait! The point is that you managed to get your advertisements out there anyway, and even now people are galloping like zombies to upgrade to toothpastes for their sensitive, tender, loving, modern teeth. Good work soldier.
[This service was brought to you by someone who has too much time on their giant shoulders.]Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1136174709740117312006-01-02T04:05:00.000+00:002006-01-02T04:05:09.786+00:00ECB: EducationalHey kids, did you ever wonder why those paper notes with the Queen's head / Lincoln's head / European bridges allow you to buy CDs, even though you actually download music illegally for free? Well now the European Central Bank, which controls your lives using psychokinesis and a flat yield curve, has the <a href="http://www.ecb.int/home/html/educational.en.html">answer</a>. It involves a purple monster, by the looks of it. All very teutonic.
Those killjoys at the <a href="http://www.mises.org">Mises Institute</a> <a href="http://www.mises.org/story/1994">might think it's all nonsense</a>, but then they don't argue their point of view in <a href="http://www.ecb.int/home/html/educational.et.html">Estonian</a>, or even <a href="http://www.ecb.int/home/html/educational.da.html">Danish</a>. They also don't make their material available exclusively in <a href="http://www.ecb.int/home/pdf/students/leaflet_en.pdf">PDF form</a> (because - oh yes kids! - this stuff will come to a school near you anyway very soon!).
No, I didn't view the "eight-minute animated film". I'd rather eat 1.6 cigarettes. If you do it, though, tell me how it goes. Cheers!
I should make this into a regular series, but I'm worried you won't like having the same link provided every month or whatever. Spoiltsports [sic].Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1135469429247778232005-12-25T00:10:00.000+00:002005-12-25T14:34:25.753+00:00From the heart of Staffs: Warning not to put fat down sink<div xmlns="http://purl.org/atom/ns#"> <p> Goddamn, the water company must have <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/staffordshire/4556846.stm">too much time on its hands</a> . (I sympathise). [Sorry about the rubbish paragraphing scheme, but I didn't choose it. My apology does not mean I am liable for any damage it might cause]: </p> <blockquote>Severn Trent is warning people not to pour turkey fat down the sink this Christmas as it could block drains, causing flooding and pollution.Its message for the festive period is to bag it and bin in.The company has to deal with 25,000 blockages every year with an increasing number over Christmas.Experts say another way of getting rid of fat, which would feed birds at the same time, is to mix it with nuts and seeds and hang it in the garden.</blockquote></span> <p>The last paragraph there, as well as being commendable for being longer than one line long, is notable for actual passing on a novel yet plausible fact. Write it down kids.</p> My job here is done. Merry Crimbo.
</div>Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1134408818088539632005-12-12T17:33:00.000+00:002005-12-12T17:33:38.143+00:00The Plain English Campaign's latest examples of some hideous travesties of the English languageIf we think ourselves competent in a language, it's very humbling to face sentences in that language that are correct in every way, and yet don't seem to have any discernible meaning. Unless it's "small print", in which case it's totally unsurprising, should you even have got yourself into the state of being faced with it. Assuming you're part of us. It's just the Way It (And The Rest of Life) Is.
Saying that, maybe it is worth reading those minisculely-written passages, in case they're binding. You might come across physics-defying claims like <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4521150.stm">this one</a> [source: BBC News Online]:
<blockquote>"2. Australian Taxations Office for: 'For the purpose of making a declaration under this Subdivision, the Commissioner may: a) treat a particular event that actually happened as not having happened; and b) treat a particular event that did not actually happen as having happened and, if appropriate, treat the event as: i) having happened at a particular time; and ii) having involved particular action by a particular entity; and c) treat a particular event that actually happened as: i) having happened at a time different from the time it actually happened; or ii) having involved particular action by a particular entity (whether or not the event actually involved any action by that entity).' "</blockquote>
There's more where that came from, though they are a pretty poor selection this year.
Depressing, should you have forgotten to take that Prozac or somesuch this morning. Do it now, and reset the computer. Ah, that's better.... Now you can exhale. Who told you an ellipsis is a good time to exhale? Bad. Bad reader. Don't come back.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1134052787654635612005-12-08T14:39:00.000+00:002005-12-08T14:39:47.703+00:00An American in (Ye Olde) Hackney<a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2131838/fr/rss/">Americans and Cockneys don't mix so well</a>:
<blockquote>"But the one thing that should trip up American audiences and make Layer Cake [a British gangster movie] a liability in the American market is language. We Americans are extremely particular about consonants. We chew the hell out of our Rs and hack out our Ks like we're trying to dislodge a windpipe obstruction. The Cockney and semi-Cockney characters in Layer Cake pronounce most of their consonants like, well, vowels. They all sound like they've just come from the dentist. The easiest guy to understand is the Serb. (When you see one of these Cockney crime films in a theaters, audience chatter tends to consist entirely of 'What'd he say?') But people watching on DVD can just rewind and listen again. Granted, half the time, listening again doesn't really help, but often it does, and just having the option makes you feel that this recondite mix of class and language - so crucial for these films' verisimilitude but so bloody confusing - is not totally beyond your control."</blockquote>
You just have to respect the apologetic tone of his admission.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1132846807981731732005-11-24T15:40:00.000+00:002005-11-24T15:44:08.830+00:00Struck by spamThe ingenuity humans show when the incentive is some money is always extraordinary to me. Today I got what is, to me, a very obvious spam email. The second paragraph had a link to some website selling unidentified products (the email just said
<blockquote>we got almost every item that anyx ch3 mist has.
whether its E - D- that you i need or tram a doll, Value ims
or even XX anan all is here. </blockquote>Great, I'll have two of those.)
But the last 75% or so of the email was made up of coherent English sentences, though there was no sense in the whole passage. I was fascinated as to how these were created. I googled a sectence at random. It was a hit, and its source was <a href="http://www.csun.edu/cod/conf/1998/proceedings/csun98_039.htm">1998 Conference Proceedings</a>, though what conference I didn't check. The whole of the following paragraph was identical to that in the email:
<blockquote>"Mark at 27 months looked ?normal?. He came from a good family who provided lots of stimulation. Mark had one word--'ba' as in 'Ball.' Everything was 'ba.' After a few days of orientation in the classroom, I presented the computer. The first day he sat at the computer for 20 minutes and pressed the ball, bus, bee on the IntelliKeys keyboard over and over again. He then looked at me and pointed to the ball and said ?Ba? Then he pointed to the bee and said 'Be' and the Bus and said 'Bu.' I was astonished and his mother started to cry."</blockquote>A few other paragraphs were also featured in the email, though in the email these were separated by paragraphs from another site.
What I find most extraordinary is that people would go so far just to get past a filter. When it is received, how many people are going to be tempted by a messy email, unclear as to the products it's selling, and full of unrelated text? This should be found out, if only for curiosity's sake.
Spam, and the fightback against it, is an exemplar of human ingenuity that I hope, if it has not been already, is studied and analysed thoroughly. I'd be a keen reader of the resultant report, for sure.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1129842065571257892005-10-20T22:01:00.000+01:002005-10-20T22:01:05.613+01:00Jottings.com - 100 oldest dot com domainsA simple link for local people: The <a href="http://www.jottings.com/100-oldest-dot-com-domains.htm">100 oldest dot com domains</a>. The oldest three, from March to May 1985 (with no dot com domains being registered in June 1985, which seems amazing in the postfuture present) are symbolics.com, bbn.com, and think.com. These are now, respectively, judging purely from a cursory glance at their websites, a defunct but formerly innovative technology company, a boring but still functioning technology company, and an Oracle-sponsored free-sites-for-children-yay site.
That's it. It's not Kafka, but you had that in the last post.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1129342995583124902005-10-15T03:23:00.000+01:002005-10-15T03:23:15.626+01:00Neogooglelogism of the day or other convenient time period"Go forth and self-inebriate!"
Google doesn't have any webpages in its index with this phrase. I'd like mine to be the first.
Behold my ambition, and shudder.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1129335247260843462005-10-15T01:14:00.000+01:002005-10-15T01:14:07.316+01:00Kafka - Away From Here<a href="http://www.hermitess.org/collected/fiction/kafka_parable.htm">Kafka - Away From Here</a>:
<blockquote>"I gave orders for my horse to be brought round from the stable. The servant did not understand me. I myself went to the stable, saddled my horse and mounted. In the distance I heard a bugle call, I asked him what this meant. He knew nothing and had heard nothing. At the gate he stopped me, asking: 'Where are you riding to, master?'
'I don't know,' I said, 'only away from here, away from here. Always away from here, only by doing such can I reach my destination.'
'And so you know your destination?' he asked.
'Yes,' I answered, 'didn't I say so? Away-From-Here, that is my destination.'
'You have no provisions with you,' he said.
'I need none,' I said, 'The journey is so long that I must die of hunger if I don't get anything on the way. No provisions can save me. For it is, fortunately, a truly immense journey.'"</blockquote>
This blogging lark is a doddle [= So blogging is bloody easy], what with all the marvellous material already existing on the internet. Copyright, you say? Yes, I want to talk to you about that. Please come this way....
For the rest of you, a bow. I hope you start to realise how this log of the web is not just interesting and wonderful, but also a fight against the second law of thermodynamics.
I do, because I can.
I wonder what Kafka's blog would have been like...Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1129314759525940082005-10-14T19:32:00.000+01:002005-10-14T19:32:39.580+01:00How can papers afford to give away DVDs?So <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4330826.stm">how can papers afford to give away all those DVDs</a>? A fine question by any standard (except saltiness). The BBC, in its queenly wisdom, claims that the answer is that the newspapers get each DVD very, very cheaply, even as low as 16p according to an Anonymous Industry Source [I wish I knew more of those].
An obvious response-question, at least to a middle-class boy, is, "Why the hell do we pay so much for the DVDs ourselves then?", assuming "we" actually buy DVDs. As a professional journalist can't give the correct answer, "Because you're idiots who agree to it", the need to blame someone else has to be satisfied. If the scapegoat is also an idiot, this helps. Much help was given on this occasion by Gennaro Castaldo, an "HMV spokesman" [I wish I knew more of those too].
<blockquote>"DVDs should be aspirational but if you see them being tossed around it sends out a negative message," says HMV spokesman Gennaro Castaldo. "It devalues the medium in the minds of the public."</blockquote>
So because people find out just how cheap a DVD really is, they won't want to own one any more? The horror! Maybe retailers shouldn't be depending on DVDs being "aspirational" in the first place, especially because no-one actually thinks so. Disingenuously pretending they are won't do much good for the brand, will it? So will HMV et al now face reality and price DVDs more cheaply?
<blockquote>Mr Castaldo rejects it as a "facile argument". The cost of DVDs sold in shops reflects the "full costs of creating a film, distribution, marketing and selling it."</blockquote>
Just like the ones given away free with the newspapers, no? How facile of us to notice. Bloody consumers and their demanding demands.
The world moves on.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1129250147171011242005-10-14T01:35:00.000+01:002005-10-14T01:35:47.236+01:00A borderline existence (Ha'aretz)<a href="http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/634556.html">A curious tale</a>:
<blockquote>Tom Hanks lived in an airport. Mahmoud Shaniq lives at a checkpoint. Hanks was in a movie, Shaniq is doing it in real life. When push comes to shove, though, it's more comfortable to live in a modern airport terminal than at an Israel Defense Forces checkpoint in the occupied territories. It is not clear why the character played by Hanks chose to live in the airport in the film 'Terminal.' However, it is perfectly clear why Shaniq chooses to live at the checkpoint: he has no other choice, because he wants to go on living. He is barred from moving to the west of the checkpoint, which is Israeli territory, and he is convinced that if he takes a few steps to the east, toward the West Bank, he will be liquidated immediately. Shaniq is known in the West Bank as a collaborator with Israel.</blockquote>
To cut a complicated story simple, this Palestinian, Shariq, appears to be extremely unlucky, having been struck with, in the correspondent's words, the "mark of Cain" -- that of being accused of collaboration with the Israelis, an accusation he denies. A tale of flitting between home and abroad, trying not to be killed or deported, describes his life so far. And now, after really having collaborated with the Israelis to try and be allowed to stay there, he has been kicked out one final time, and has nowhere to go.
Except Hollywood, of course. I think he should at least try.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1128984021257247272005-10-10T23:40:00.000+01:002005-10-10T23:40:21.313+01:00Madonna 'upsets Israeli rabbis', rest of world [as American journalists would have it, and me]Since wearing conical bras got the attention of everyone except those who shun pop culture and its satanic ways, Madonna has embarked on a much more focussed marketing strategy, starting with one of her biggest unexploited markets, Israeli rabbis. Given their previous lack of interest in her status as a virgin with a premiere contact, or her habit of crying blood, she's gone for the jugular and just written a song about an important rabbi in Kabbalah folklore that most Jews don't really care about. This has provoked outrages such as the following (according to the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4328092.stm">BBC</a>):
<blockquote>'Jewish law forbids the use of the name of the holy rabbi for profit,' said Cohen, who runs a seminary named after Luria in the northern Israel town of Safed."</blockquote>
He obviously has a non-profit seminary.
Source of all this inconsequential speculation: <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4328092.stm">BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Madonna 'upsets Israeli rabbis'</a>
I bet you're really glad I exist now.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1128813212212604972005-10-09T00:13:00.000+01:002005-10-09T01:55:19.776+01:00A new Shining trailer, perhapsThe Shining has been re-released! It's now called Shining and has a completely different storyline. There's a new trailer to herald it.
<a href="http://www.ps260.com/molly/SHINING%20FINAL.mov">The aforementioned trailer</a>
For some reason, I found it all very funny...Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1128813018605304272005-10-09T00:10:00.000+01:002005-10-09T00:10:18.660+01:00News in Science - Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme - 03/10/2005Keeping right up to date, I hereby inform you that <a href="http://abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s1473208.htm">Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme</a>. Who knew? I don't.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1127846001225602812005-09-27T19:33:00.000+01:002005-09-27T19:33:21.270+01:00Living with short-term amnesia [from the Independent]It's not news, but it's a blog entry, so it should suffice, punk.
The first DVD I ever bought had an encoded version of "Memento" on it, and since watching the decoded version of the film from that same DVD, I've always considered it a damn fine movie. In it, as you know, a man tries to avenge his wife's murder. Unfortunately for him, this is made harder by his inability to remember anything more than about 30 seconds beforehand. Fortunately for the viewer, this, and the use of reversing time so that what came before an event is not known until later on, make an excellent film.
So now the Independent, in a flurry of non-journalism, have published a story about someone real - yes, real! - who suffers from a similar condition. It's not like there are wars or anything going on.
From the article <a href="http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_medical/article315382.ece">contained within this, somehow</a>,
<blockquote>"In order to lead a normal life, Chandler must keep a meticulous diary to help jolt memories and remember forthcoming events. Her bedroom is scattered with notes: 'Check diary', '52 weeks, 365 days'. Often she repeats the notes over and over, forgetting that she has already tried to prompt herself to remember. In her bedroom, she also has pictures of Tony Blair and Charles Kennedy. Below she describes their roles. For the first time, she voted in the general election in May."</blockquote>Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5199149.post-1124314949752863302005-08-17T22:42:00.000+01:002005-08-17T22:42:29.786+01:00Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' TheoryFrom the Onion: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2">Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory</a>
"The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue 'so they can make an informed decision.'"
Sounds as reasonable as the Intelligent Design theory. I'm glad they're being consistent, even if it's only in satire. Now we just need them to admit that Christianity is divinely inspired and not a human product of its time and... Oh, good point.
Damn.Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837364936167276271noreply@blogger.com0