Monday, January 05, 2004

Newsnight goodness

I'm so glad I signed up for the Newsnight newsletter! As well as offering moderately interesting background information on what the programme's going to cover that evening, it also has some of the best jokes the internet has ever published. As befits a current-affairs programme, it's usually in the vanguard of any joke trend, publishing just-composed humour as it happens. Excellent USP. Re-pubished below by me is the Joke Extract from today's newsletter [the second one, of course.. the first one was actually the last one of 2003 mistakenly (I assume) sent again, in case you didn't understand what's going on]: So here is a list that caught our fancy from the Washington Post's Style section. They asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of the winners: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit) [whatever that means! It is the funniest one, along with the next one] Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. And, the pick of the bunch, which possibly gets us back to the subject of Rumpology: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a******e [I added an asterisk because I'm sure Gavin Esler underestimated how many letters are in the actual word. Unless he's some expert in blasphemies and he was referring to a more obscure swear-word than the obvious one]. The author of all this excellence: <-- Mr. Gavin Esler! Possibly Esq. Totally underrated by the British public. Paxman should be quaking in his boots. More than usual.


Post a Comment

<< Home