Petre's trenchant coated dumplings

Petre has, as is his way, sent me the best examples of recent BBC News Online efforts at reporting on Our World. I reproduce the links and misrepresentative quotes he provides, not just because it'll make the world better, and not just because it's a good use/waste of time (as long as I post this in the next 30 seconds, give or take 0.76 seconds), but also because it proves I read his emails and appreciate their wit. I could just reply, but I know that'll take many hours, and I don't have a desire to get kicked off my course or my job just yet [there is a logical link, anthropophiles!]. Very soon, but not just yet. And the title? Because I can. Here goes...

There is no chance of anyone getting away without doing the reading: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4332183.stm Retrospective planning application refused: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4330555.stm Laughter offsets the impact of mental stress, which is harmful to the endothelium: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4325819.stm Taking iconographic Americans out of the picture as a sort of cultural-destabilization plan: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4332239.stm Eating lots of biscuits is obviously an enjoyable prospect for most people: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/4328509.stm Mrs Parker Bowles appears as a whip-wielding dominatrix in jodhpurs: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4332595.stm No self-respecting Malaysian is likely to leave the planet: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4331979.stm

Petre: I provide a pacifistic salute in lieu of a beer, because it's cheaper and more rewarding.