Petre's outpourings of friendship and light

The latest musings of Petre the Perceptive Insaniac [that should so be a word if it isn't yet, or rather it should be accepted as a word by everyone else in the world if it isn't yet] are in, and after culling the stuff about the impending end of the world and the return of Jesus (which was a rather vacuous affair this time), the leftovers went approximately as follows, with my acerbic lack of wit filed away safely in square brackets, though I warn you that this is a necessary, and not sufficient condition for my additions. Except at the end. And here. Just click on the links already! Man not fat, nor big boned, but tumoured [and also living near me, which could explain away my obesity… not that I’m obese. That was just a joke. Really. Don’t be scared girls! If you were attracted beforehand, then you’ve overcome far worse obstacles than my obesity. Not that I'm obese, etc.]: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berkshire/4347259.stm The most unusual failures were candidates who couldn't find their car: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4340381.stm Bryson: "suggested a house swap": http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4341367.stm Dr Melissa Hack: Snorologist: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4341199.stm Cardinal Bertone told Il Giornale: "The book is everywhere. There is a very real risk that many people who read it will believe that the fables it contains are true." [He could have almost been talking about the bible] [also in NTK, non-NTK readers / NTK-reading amnesiacs!]: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4350625.stm Unfortunate nominative determinism: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4350393.stm A recent Gallup survey revealed that only one in four Americans were either very familiar or somewhat familiar with blogs: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4350041.stm Faust - Metal Opera: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4347047.stm The otter having its head bashed in with a spade: http://www.channel4.com/film/reviews/feature.jsp?V=3&SV=8&id=131540 Culkin is stung to death by bees [Sounds hilarious to me] [I couldn’t believe they were seriously suggesting it’s anything but stupidly funny, and stupid]: http://www.channel4.com/film/newsfeatures/microsites/T/tearjerkers/results/10-1.html Live insects for meals can result in a bill of $100 for a single patient [what the hell are they doing in the picture. Is it legal?]: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4363549.stm Freedom of Information: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/4363763.stm Phytooestrogen isoflavone: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4361563.stm [I heard this story on the radio, but it didn't mention the following sentence] Sir Peter thought it had been taken by a local male otter: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4361079.stm [Lebanon’s bureaucracy is the subject of a BBC News story… is that right?] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4362373.stm "Titanic in space": http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4360355.stm Cows take pleasure in solving problems and sheep: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4360947.stm [This one is from me, but if Petre had found it I’m sure he would’ve told me about it. It's funny and geeky, like me, except I’m not digitised (yet). Or funny.] http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html Petre also kindly sent two excellent otter-related links, which with luck will be included in my autobiography. They’re pretty much the same as the links below in all important respects – or at least important for most. Any offended physicists should join the Democratic Party. Even if they’re not Americans, in which case my recommendation is made in stronger terms. http://www.whiterockgallery.com/prinsen-pic-24.htm http://www.sptimes.com/News/050401/news_pf/TampaBay/Unusual_otter_attack_.shtml

Petre's trenchant coated dumplings

Petre has, as is his way, sent me the best examples of recent BBC News Online efforts at reporting on Our World. I reproduce the links and misrepresentative quotes he provides, not just because it'll make the world better, and not just because it's a good use/waste of time (as long as I post this in the next 30 seconds, give or take 0.76 seconds), but also because it proves I read his emails and appreciate their wit. I could just reply, but I know that'll take many hours, and I don't have a desire to get kicked off my course or my job just yet [there is a logical link, anthropophiles!]. Very soon, but not just yet. And the title? Because I can. Here goes...

There is no chance of anyone getting away without doing the reading: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4332183.stm Retrospective planning application refused: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4330555.stm Laughter offsets the impact of mental stress, which is harmful to the endothelium: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4325819.stm Taking iconographic Americans out of the picture as a sort of cultural-destabilization plan: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4332239.stm Eating lots of biscuits is obviously an enjoyable prospect for most people: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/4328509.stm Mrs Parker Bowles appears as a whip-wielding dominatrix in jodhpurs: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4332595.stm No self-respecting Malaysian is likely to leave the planet: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4331979.stm

Petre: I provide a pacifistic salute in lieu of a beer, because it's cheaper and more rewarding.